The Three Mouseketeers
Chapter Four – Ah Yes, Testosterone
Jul 17, 2005
3:18 PM
Phantom left me a bit discouraged after that first full-body rub experience. Later that same day when I called him to the gate for another body rub, not only would he not come up to the gate with my arm stuck through the side, but he wouldn’t approach the gate at all! Not for the entire rest of the day! It seemed he had reconsidered the whole idea of allowing me to make physical contact with him and decided against it. I was disheartened as I watched him stand off in the middle of the room, staring at me suspiciously, refusing to approach. I was so sure we had made a major connection that morning, and then it was all gone. I tried in vain to get him to interact a few more times that day but ultimately went to sleep that night unsatisfied.
But of course, I don’t give up so easily. The next morning I was back at the gate, and so was Phantom. I loosened the gate and stuck my arm around the end. He backed up, hesitated, then stepped forward, and soon he was rolling around the floor on my hand, purring and drooling with delight. Apparently he spent the night considering his options and ultimately decided that a loving embrace is a good thing. 🙂 He no longer even backs up or hesitates when I loosen the gate and introduce my arm. He just waits until I’m situated, then bathes in all the stroking, rubbing, scratching, and tickling.
Phantom is becoming increasingly playful, grabbing, biting, and kicking my hand frequently during our sessions. At first, he was very careful and gentle about how he played with me, acting as though he expected to get punished for the interaction. Now he realizes there are no negative consequences to his play, so he is engaging fully (and sometimes a bit painfully). He’s becoming bolder in other ways, as well. When I move the gate out a bit to allow entrance to my arm, it creates a wider gap at the top between it and the upper gate. Yesterday I had my chin resting on the top of the gate, gazing down at Phantom through the gap. To my utter delight, he reared up against the gate and touched my lips lightly with his nose.
For all the wonderful progress this remarkably loving boy is making, he still can’t seem to cross that in-room threshold. He simply will NOT come out from under the bed with me in the room. I haven’t figured out the solution to his resistance yet, but I will, sooner or later. It’s just so ridiculous because he’s obviously starting to love me.
I always fall hardest for the ones who really make me work for their trust and affection. You don’t suppose he knows that, do you? 😉
Jul 18, 2005
4:48 PM
I’m a cat. I’m a Cheshire Cat, grinning ear to ear. :-()
Guess who spent time stretched out upside down on my lap a little while ago? Guess who is now wearing the harness and had his first few moments on leash in the living room this afternoon. Guess who is a very, very happily amazed Mommy?
Phantom has gotten so comfortable with my loosening the gate and sticking my arm around the end that I decided to see what he would do with a larger gap. I sat right next to the gate and loosened it, as usual. Then I pushed it together so it left a gap about a foot or less adjacent to my lap.
Phantom stayed on his side while I stroked, rubbed, and tickled him, but eventually, he decided to check out the gap. He stepped up onto my lap, and I wrapped my arm around him to prevent him from wandering out of reach. He made a few half-hearted attempts to wriggle loose, then settled onto my lap. He rolled onto his back between my legs and lay there while I stroked his belly. Pippin was lying right beside me all the time, and he sniffed Phantom’s head. Didn’t phase the cat. After a minute or two, Phantom tried again to leave my lap to go exploring, but with no way to restrict his movements or prevent catfrontations with the other residents, I gently turned him around toward the gate and ushered him back into the bedroom instead.
I replaced the gate and went to get the harness and leash. Returning to the gate, I removed it again and waited for Phantom to start through the gap. I tried to slip the collar part of the harness over his head, but it spooked him, and he backed up into the bedroom. More petting, rubbing, and tickling got him rolling around the floor, distracted enough to allow me to slip the collar over his head and eventually get the belly band buckled.
Phantom tried to come through the gap again, but by this time Pippin, Tasha, and Wookie were all milling around, standing on my lap, generally demanding as much of my attention as possible, so Phantom gave up and laid down on the floor on his side of the gate. I replaced the gate again and put the dogs outside. Back at the gate, I snapped the leash onto Phantom’s harness, and he leaped over my lap. He was just starting to explore to the end of the leash when Joe drove in, and I figured I’d better get him back in the bedroom before all the “Daddy’s HOME!” pandemonium broke out.
So, it was a big, HUGE day for Phantom – lap time with Mommy, harness, and leash, first visit out of the bedroom – HUGE!!! And not a panic response in sight!
But I’d bet money if I walk into that bedroom right now, he’ll run under the bed and refuse to come out. 😉
Jul 18, 2005
8:50 PM
Phantom has finally shown me his heart, and it is sweet and tender loving and even trusting.
I gave him the opportunity to come out and explore again this evening. This time as I sat by the gate with legs extended, Pippin (Aussie boy) came to stretch out and nap between my legs. Footsie and Mew also came up as I opened the gate and moved it aside enough for Phantom to come through. I snapped the leash onto Phantom’s harness, and he stood at the gap for a few moments trying to figure out whether or not he was up to navigating all the other animals. Pip’s head was right by the gap, and there was very little of my lap available for Phantom to cross. He thought about it briefly, then stepped onto my lap and head-bonked Pippin, giving him a full body rub before he plopped down on his side and snuggled against Pip on my lap. He lay there for a couple of minutes before getting up to do a bit of exploring.
By that time, BooBoo had walked over to see what I was doing. Without hesitation, Phantom walked up to her and shoved his head into her neck in a warm greeting. BooBoo, apparently assuming the loving gesture came from one of her littermates, didn’t react until she realized this was not a cat she knew. Then she hissed and jumped away. Phantom then turned his attention to Footsie and walked up to him. Footsie, for some reason, has been quite nasty to Phantom through the gates lately, hooking him with his claws whenever possible. It worried me as Phantom approached Footsie, but I knew I could pull him out of any serious trouble that may arise. When Phantom got within striking distance, Footsie lowered his ears to half-mast and bit poor Phantom’s ear quite soundly. Phantom pulled away and raced back into the bedroom through the gate gap and hid under the bed. I reprimanded Footsie firmly for his completely uncalled-for behavior and tried to coax Phantom back out from under the bed.
I figured Phantom would call it a night at that point and hide till morning, but he surprised me yet again by coming out just a minute or two later to be comforted by the gate. It seems as though, like Feather before him, Phantom has decided it’s time to replenish his love stores. He suddenly seems eager to seek affection and companionship from everybody and doesn’t appear inclined or able to discriminate between potential friends and foes. I’m going to have my hands full trying to keep him safe and unharmed as he navigates the maze of strong personalities in this household. He is such an innocent. I wouldn’t have guessed that he’d be the gentle child who needs protecting.
I love this boy.
Jul 22, 2005
2:02 PM
There really haven’t been any major, or even minor, breakthroughs lately. I continue to spend large amounts of time sitting by the bedroom door, removing the bottom gate, and enjoying Phantom’s affections. He usually comes out from under the bed when I call him to the gate, and he’s eager to interact, but he’s still very spooky. Sometimes he’ll run back under the bed in response to a loud noise or sudden movement, but other times he’ll run and hide for no apparent reason. And, to my increasing frustration, he still refuses to come out from under the bed if I’m in the room with him.
Yesterday morning after I had been up a while, I glanced through the gates and noticed the bathroom door was closed. I assumed Joe was up and in there. Quite a while later, the bathroom door was still closed, so I started wondering if something was amiss. I glanced through the gates again and noticed Joe still in bed. Hmm. Then why was the bathroom door closed, and how long had poor Phantom been locked out of his litterbox, food, and water?
I walked around and entered the bathroom through the utility room and turned on the light. There was poor Phantom, trying to be invisible on the edge of the tub. I walked over and opened the door to the bedroom, then backed up to the other side of the room, sat on the floor, and spoke soothingly to my little black boy. Out of the bathroom shot Phantom, back to the safety of his underbed kingdom without so much as a backward glance in my direction. I left the bathroom, walked around to the baby gates on the living room side, and called him. He immediately came out to snuggle on my lap when he heard the gate move out of the doorway. Loves me in one doorway, and is terrified of me in the other. Go figure.
Most of the time when I’m at the gate, however, Phantom is right there with me, either snuggling or shredding my hand in enthusiastic play. He’s not yet comfortable enough to want to go exploring, though he is becoming much more at ease with the other animals who frequently also come snuggle while I’m on the floor by the gates. Phantom accepts wet kisses from the dogs and a certain amount of curious sniffing from some of the cats. He used to hide whenever I would allow Mew into the bedroom, but now he is starting to stay out in the open. I even saw him stretch a tentative paw in play in Mew’s direction this morning. Last night I let both Mew and Somer into the bedroom for a while as I sat with Phantom at the gate, and he held his ground. Little by little I think he’s starting to figure out which cats are “safe” and which would like to pound him.
The “pounders” are Feather and Footsie. For some reason, both of those boys would really like to jump Phantom. Maybe we’re still dealing with a bit of residual male hormone activity, though Feather and Footsie have developed a very playful friendship with each other. I just can’t figure out why they’re both intent on giving Phantom a hard time. I’m trying to use my time at the gate to referee their interactions and convince them to behave nicely with Phantom. The other night I had Phantom stretched out along my left leg, Feather curled up against my right leg, and Footsie lying between my legs. I was a bit uncomfortable, knowing full well that I could end up in the middle of a catfight if either or both of my little pounders decided to get rowdy, but they behaved themselves despite their worst instincts.
Phantom is my tortoise – slow and steady wins the race. I may never figure out all of his mental quirks, but then, I don’t need to. I’ll just keep loving him, no matter what.
Jul 25, 2005
7:00 PM
They’re the small interactions that remind me of the vast differences between feline and canine society. Most felines are solitary creatures by nature, African lions being one notable exception. In my household reside a couple of lions, though most are leopards, cheetahs, tigers, and such, by nature if not by genetics.
Canines, on the other hand, are strongly bound by social dependency on their pack structure. They live together, play together, feed together, sleep together. They are lost as solitary beings and need physical connection to feel secure in their surroundings.
These specific differences play themselves out in near-constant mini-dramas and social conflicts within my family, most of which would go completely unnoticed to the uninitiated eye. My eye, however, catches everything.
Take the last half hour of my life, for instance. Sitting, as I so often do these days, on the floor by the baby gates, I removed the bottom one so Phantom could come out and visit. But of course Phantom wasn’t the only 4-legged desiring my attention, so soon I had Phantom curled up against my left hip, Feather snuggled against the right hip, Pippin absorbing all the space between my outstretched legs, and Wookie’s butt pushed up against my right leg.
Dogs have few boundaries where personal space is concerned, and puppies have even less. It’s that pack mentality. They think nothing of getting right in your face if they need a place to expel their steaming hot breath in heavy pants on a 90+ degree day. They also think nothing of stretching across any part of your body with any part of theirs, placing their feet, butts, and noses wherever they may fall, with no consideration of consequence. And so, Pippin’s head was in my crotch, and Wookie’s was getting uncomfortably close to Feather’s.
Needless to say, I’m somewhat more tolerant of personal space encroachments than Feather. Being completely unwilling to relinquish his spot against my right hip, Feather, in all his independent feline glory, made a pointed statement across Wookie’s nose to emphasize the importance of personal space. Wookie, in all his canine communal camaraderie, moved his nose just out of reach while rolling over onto his back so his side and back leg fell casually against Feather’s side. Feather, still aggravated by such unwelcome familiarity and still unwilling to lose his precious spot, simply repositioned himself with his back to Wookie. Out of sight but not entirely off the planet.
Meanwhile, on the left side of my body, Pippin had allowed his head to drape over my left leg in Phantom’s direction. Phantom, preferring not to bathe in hot dog breath, moved a few inches away out of the “sauna zone”.
As I watch my children maneuver for comfortable positions close to Mommy, I can hear the internal dialogues. “TOO CLOSE!” chastise the cats. “Closer” sigh the dogs. I just close my eyes and smile.
Jul 25, 2005
10:06 PM
Among my feline population, only a few will actually snuggle with each other. Lamie will snuggle with Noddy. BooBoo will snuggle with Noddy and Pretty. Pretty will snuggle only with BooBoo. Noddy snuggles only with Lamie and BooBoo. Other cats will occasionally share people’s beds and furniture, and occasionally may lightly touch body parts if they happen to lie down within touching proximity, but aside from the aforementioned snugglers, there is no piling as Meezersfive enjoys at her home.
My second cat, Tempest, regularly shared bowls of chocolate ice cream with me as a child. Of course I have no way of knowing if it was the sweet, the chocolate, or the cream that appealed to her taste buds. I just remember eating out of the same bowl. Tempest also had a particular liking for anything made from tomatoes – ketchup, spaghetti sauce, tomato soup – didn’t matter as long as it was tomatoey.
Come to think of it, Footsie crawled all over me the other day trying to steal my chocolate frozen yogurt. Sadly for Footsie, I wasn’t feeling inclined to share.
I’m afraid that much of the “action and suspense” part of the Three Mouseketeers saga has dissipated with Feather’s return to the household and his and Footsie’s successful integrations into the family population. Phantom’s story is now one of patience and painstakingly slow progress. For me, this time is one of comparative peace after all the trauma and angst that accompanied each new face this spring/summer.
Jul 27, 2005
3:29 PM
Feather is getting braver in the household. He’s starting to move around more freely, even in the living room where the dogs congregate. He has discovered that I spend a great deal of time here in the office, and he even occasionally naps in my lap while I work online. He’s figured out that Wookie can be stopped in his tracks by a well-placed claw and that Tasha really doesn’t mean him any harm in spite of her intense curiosity about him.
Even so, Feather remains prone to tense overreaction and an overall frantic attitude. If he wants my attention, he will run under my feet and throw himself to the ground as soon as I touch him. If I pick him up to cuddle, he will tense and squirm and bury himself in my chest, clinging to my shirt with claws extended, not unlike a young kitten. If he curls up on my lap to sleep, he constantly shifts his position and never stays long. If I walk toward him, he darts off, then just as quickly turns around and runs back toward me. It’s as though he has a constant alarm bell going off in his head.
If another animal gets too close, Feather will mumble a nervous warning under his breath … unless it’s Billy. He has the same strange, indecipherable relationship with Billy inside the house as he did outside. I still can’t figure out if they’re friends, enemies, or friendly rivals, but I get the impression Feather looks up to Billy as some sort of mentor. Billy would prefer that Feather leave him completely alone, but Feather insists on shadowing Billy wherever he goes. At times Billy will growl and hiss in an attempt to drive off his “admirer”, but Feather is relentless. I haven’t seen either one of them physically aggress toward the other, but it wouldn’t surprise me if it should happen. They’re like watching a hot-tempered couple trying to slow dance after a major fight – cold, tense, and deceitfully calm.
Or maybe they’re gunfighters – Billy, the undisputed and longstanding top gun, never having lost a quick draw to a rival – Feather, the impudent young upstart, both admiring and desiring to take down the fastest trigger in the upper Midwest. They certainly spend enough time staring each other down, challenging each other to draw first. Talk about suspense!
Ok, boys, drop your guns and come out with your claws sheathed!
Jul 27, 2005
5:08 PM
If I remember correctly, I believe my vet told me it takes about 6 weeks for the residual male hormones to dissipate from a tom’s system after neutering. Of course if you’re dealing with mature males who have been neutered after their first year of life, as I am here, you’re also dealing with learned behaviors that’ll likely never disappear entirely.
The funny thing is, Billy was neutered as an adolescent, but he’s the most manly man of all the felines. He’s the one who insists on patrolling the farm pretty much all day every day. He’s the one who seeks out and tries to drive off the strays and ferals who show up. He’s our eldest cat, but he wasn’t raised here. We adopted him and his younger half-brother, Bitsy, when he was 6 or 7 years old after their elderly owners died.
Interestingly, when we adopted Billy and Bitsy back in 1996, we had a very dominant alpha cat in the family named Pea. Pea had been an only cat for many years, and she liked it that way. Then we rescued “The Babies” in 1995, who were the bane of her existence for the next year until we brought B & B into the household. As irritated as Pea had been at the presence of The Babies, she absolutely and violently HATED the white boys (Billy and Bitsy). Physical warfare broke out between them on a regular basis. Pea was a very old and seemingly frail, small cat, but when faced with an enemy, she fought with the ferocity and strength of a lioness. Ultimately, she won Billy’s respect, and he showed her that respect until the day she died. He bowed to her superiority and rank as the top cat in the family order, as did all other family felines with the continuing exception of Bitsy. Bitsy’s behavior was incomprehensible, as he always had been in his previous family and continues to be low-cat in the social order of our family. He’s never exhibited the slightest inclination to challenge any cat but Pea.
I find that the more cats who enter our family, the less well-defined the social order becomes. We haven’t had a definitive alpha cat since Pea passed on, but we have had factions. The Babies, being blood relatives, have always pretty much hung together and are bonded as a family unit. The White Boys (not including the new white boy, Feather) socialize comfortably only with each other, but even they aren’t closely bonded in spite of their common blood. Weasel was the first stray to arrive and was firmly rejected by all resident felines. He bonded closely only with the dogs until Mew arrived as a feral a year later. Mew was the first cat with whom Weasel was able to establish a reasonably peaceful relationship (I suspect they are related). Each of the strays and ferals who have shown up since seems to be melding into the Stray/Feral faction that Weasel and Mew created.
No, we don’t have a dominant alpha cat who overlords the feline population here at Shadowood. There are stronger personalities and more laid-back personalities, but no clear leader. Each animal figures out on his or her own behalf exactly who to respect and who to push around. Occasionally there will be a moment of temporary insanity during which someone pushes the wrong someone around and gets pounded for the indiscretion, but those little problems are infrequent and fleeting.
I can just imagine Pea up there at Rainbow Bridge yelling at me to pound them all into submission. Some souls never change. 😉
Jul 28, 2005
10:43 AM
In lieu of action, I thought you guys might enjoy a pic of our handsome Phantom, resting against Mommy’s leg in a moment of uncharacteristic calm.
BTW, this boy is NOT easy to photograph. He’s scared of the camera so tends to shoot off under the bed anytime he sees it aimed in his direction. I’ve got lots of blurry shots of this guy.
Jul 30, 2005
9:44 PM
I’m still trying to figure out if the Three Mouseketeers are brothers. The fact that they arrived here at essentially the same time and that my vet determined them to all be the same approximate age would imply the strong possibility of blood ties, but their physical appearances certainly do not. These boys are entirely different physical types.
Phantom is the short, stocky type. He has a fairly heavy bone structure with a short back and overall compact build. Even his tail is comparatively short and thick. When I stroke him, I feel substance under my hand. His legs are thick and muscular, but his belly is round and soft (dare I say flabby). He’s the Mouseketeer who will end up looking like the other furry bowling balls in this family.
Feather is a lightweight, in spite of the fact that he’s put on several pounds since finding his way back into the household. He has the smallest, most delicate bone structure of all the cats – very feminine features. His feet are tiny, and his back is quite long. His tail, also, is long and lean. He’s currently slab-sided, so he looks a bit like a white-washed 2X4 with legs. I predict that he, too, will gain a bit too much weight, but he’ll never look as large as the other cats because of his diminutive skeleton.
Footsie is the oddest of all. He is a very, very long and lanky cat, his thinness amplified by his very large bone structure. His skeleton could easily carry twice his current weight without looking an ounce too heavy, but he apparently has a metabolism that will keep him lean. He looks like a tiny cheetah prowling the house for his next meal, right down to his impressively elongated tail.
If these boys are littermates, they surely have only one parent in common.
I’d love to see Mom. I suspect I already know what the dads look like.
Aug 1, 2005
3:40 PM
I think I’ve been inadvertently holding Phantom back. All this time I’ve been spending sitting on the floor by the baby gate with him has been wonderful, and we’ve done all sorts of bonding, but I realize now that by staying next to the gate I’ve been restricting his movements into the greater area of the house. Not that he couldn’t step over my lap and go adventuring if he wanted to. He just doesn’t feel so inclined while I’m sitting right there visiting with him.
A couple of days ago, Tasha started POUNDING on the door in her typical and none-too-subtle demand to be let inside. Not wanting to disturb Phantom who was napping comfortably just outside the gate, I decided to step over to the door without moving him back into the bedroom and replacing the gate. It was the first time I’d stepped away from him while he was outside the bedroom. He immediately got up and went back into the safety of the bedroom, then turned around and came back out.
After I let Tasha inside, I stayed away from the gate to see what Phantom would do. I stood farther into the living room and watched as he slunk cautiously into the dining room, then into the kitchen. He only explored for a minute or two before dashing back to the bedroom, but it was exploring, nonetheless.
Yesterday when I removed the gate, Mew rushed into the bedroom as he is now in the habit of doing, and Phantom rushed out to see me. As I sat and visited with him, Noddy decided to check out the bedroom, as well, and after him, Weasel – a little boy tea party, as it were. Feather came up to see what was so interesting in the bedroom, but I didn’t allow him access. Feather still gets that “pounding” look in his eye when he confronts Phantom, and I didn’t want to give him the opportunity to jump him in the bedroom. So I sat with Feather lying between my legs and Phantom stretched out along the left one. Both boys seemed perfectly peaceful, so the next time Feather tried to enter the bedroom, I allowed it. Phantom followed him in, and they wandered around together without a problem as I sat and kept a watchful eye.
After a while, I decided to come into the office for a few minutes to check my email. All was quiet for about 15 mins before a noisy catfight erupted in the bedroom between Feather and Phantom. I rushed in and broke up the fight, then carried Feather and the other feline visitors out of the bedroom to give Phantom a chance to regain his equilibrium and relax.
I don’t know which of my Mouseketeers started the ruckus. Phantom has recently tried to jump the other two several times when they encroach on HIS lap space. He’s not the wimpy boy who necessarily backs down anymore, though he still usually does. His play with me has gotten much more aggressive and physical lately. I think he’s starting to feel the stress of being cooped up in the bedroom all the time. He will, at times, get pretty vocal and try to pull the gate down if he doesn’t feel he’s getting enough attention.
Today while both Feather and Footsie were in the basement, I closed the basement door and removed the baby gate so Phantom could wander around at will. Then I went into the office for a while. Sometimes when I came back into the living room, Phantom was moving a little ways from the gate. Most of the time he was lying by the gate. Once he made it all the way to the other side of the living room before retreating to the bedroom again. Last time I checked he was back under the bed, so I replaced the gate and opened the basement door to let the others upstairs.
Integrating Phantom is proving difficult in several ways. First is his own continuing timidity, though that has certainly improved substantially. The far greater obstacle is his combative relationship with the other Mouseketeers. I don’t know what I’m going to do about that. I can’t just turn him loose into the household and let them damage each other. So I guess I’ll have to keep doing what I have been doing – sitting by the gate with my boys vying for prime lap real estate, trying to convince them that battle is unacceptable in this family. Sooner or later they’ve got to figure out who’s Big Momma Boss, right?
In the meantime, poor Mew is doing his level best as Diplomatic Liaison to keep peace and make everyone feel welcome. Not easy to do when Feather gets a bug up his derriere and decides to jump Mew for no reason and chase him around the house! That little Feather can turn Demon Kitty in the blink of an eye, and he doesn’t think twice about the fact that Mew is easily twice his size. Thank goodness he has the good sense to leave Noddy alone. Our Lion King outweighs Feather about 3:1, and he does NOT appreciate insolence in his subjects!
I long for the day when peace returns to the Kingdom of Shadowood.
Aug 12, 2005
8:42 AM
Sorry, everybody, for the long delay between updates. I’ve been frantically trying to build a large, new iris bed and plant it with about 150 new irises. Until a couple of days ago, the temps here were so unbearable that the work has been very slow going. Anyhow, I have a good handle on the project now. Beardeds are in the ground, beardless rows are ready to be planted. So, time for an update.
About a week ago, Phantom finally decided he would grace me with his presence while in the bedroom. He will still only come out from under the bed when I’m sitting on the floor by the gates, but at least now he’ll come out while I’m on the bedroom side of the gates. That’s helpful since he is now reluctant to come through the gate opening if he sees Feather on the other side.
My Mouseketeers are still causing trouble with each other. Phantom and Feather are particularly problematic because they have both become rather possessive of me. If I am sitting on the floor by the gates with Phantom on my lap, Feather will run over and try to horn in. When it happened a couple of weeks ago, Phantom jumped Feather, and I had to clap loudly to get them separated. Since then, Phantom has been particularly skittish in Feather’s presence and tends to retreat under the bed.
This morning, however, I was sitting with Phantom in the bedroom by the gate with the gate still in place, and Feather walked up on the livingroom side. Phantom walked up to the gate and warned Feather to back off, which of course Feather ignored. I don’t know what I’m going to do about these two.
Unfortunately, Phantom isn’t the only target of Feather’s pushy behavior. Feather is getting himself into trouble with several of the other residents. Last night he decided to get pushy with Billy, and when Feather gets pushy, he does NOT back down. I can usually break up kitty squabbles with a loud verbal reprimand or sharp clap, but it doesn’t faze Feather. Even when I push him away with my foot, he’ll come right back and start trouble again. Last night when he wouldn’t stop threatening Billy, I had to spank him before I could get him to back off. Feather has also somehow managed to make an enemy of Mew. Although I didn’t see what precipitated it, Mew recently started growling at Feather every time he gets too close, and now Mew is even running from him. Obviously, Feather has been harassing Mew to the point that my Diplomatic Liaison no longer wishes to be diplomatic with him. I don’t know where Feather is coming up with this bothersome, testosterone-driven behavior. Can testes grow back??? These boys are teaching me that male hormones (or at least hormonal behavior) can linger a whole lot longer than 6 weeks post-neuter.
I keep thinking that if I just love these boys up enough, they’ll all feel secure enough to relinquish their aggressive tendencies and relax into family mode. Perhaps we’re just going through an “attachment phase” where they’re trying to establish ownership in the household. Unfortunately, Feather and Phantom both seem to be trying to claim me as their exclusive property.
Last night I had the gate down and Phantom lying in my lap when he decided to wander off into the diningroom. All was quiet until Footsie cornered him under a chair. I went to his rescue, and he spooked off under the couch. I had to put Footsie and Feather in the basement to give Phantom a clear path back to the bedroom.
That’s why I haven’t been able to integrate Phantom into the rest of the household yet. He wants to come out and start exploring but he can’t do so safely with the other Mouseketeers around. Both Feather and Footsie will attack him, though Footsie’s attacks appear to be more bullying than battle. Phantom is apparently just one of those cats with “victim” tattooed on his forehead. I can’t risk him getting hurt. I’m beginning to think I ought to change their collective name to the Testosterone Trio.
Aug 12, 2005
4:29 PM
Sometimes the mere process of writing helps clarify things tremendously. I started this post by comparing the feline male and female psyches and their respective responses to desexing, but as soon as I got the first sentence written, I realized I couldn’t justify my intended conclusion. I intended to point out how differently the sexes respond to desexing, when, in fact, they respond identically, at least when the desexing occurs in adult cats who have already lived for a period of time as sexually mature animals.
Now that I’ve had this epiphany, I realize that I am expecting too much, or perhaps too little, from the Mouseketeers. They all arrived as adults, sexually mature, intact toms with all of the associated behavioral aspects. I knew that. I know that. It is a fact that will never change.
Truth is, I would know that these boys were neutered as adults even if I were just meeting them today for the first time. There is a decided difference between a male cat who was neutered before reaching sexual maturity and one who was neutered after having lived as an adult tom. There are just things to never forget, behaviors they never completely abandon, a certain glint in the eye reserved for moments of passionate memory.
Ex-toms are slaves to uncontrolled emotion. They express everything with undeniable clarity – love, hate, fear, calm, aggression, submission, need, want – and they can switch from one expression to another in the blink of an eye. Take Phantom, for example. He can go from loving calm to flesh-eater in far less time than it takes me to move my hand out of reach. He gets so overwrought with emotion that he has a difficult time sorting them out to experience one at a time. He has recently and reluctantly allowed me to start kissing him on the head and face, but he can’t figure out how to respond to it. Of course, he would rather I didn’t kiss him at all because it makes him nervous to have my face that close to his and he hates being held and lifted even a few inches. But he doesn’t object significantly anymore. Instead, he stares at me with those big, suspicious eyes (often while simultaneously purring) as I kiss him repeatedly, but as soon as I let him loose, he collapses in my lap and starts shredding my hand. Too much emotion for the poor little guy to process calmly, I suppose.
The funny thing is, my first feral ex-tom, Mew, still does exactly the same thing. He, too, is uncontrollably emotional. He will headbutt me with tremendous force, rub all over my face to solicit many kisses, reciprocate by making little smacking noises with his lips, then as often as not collapse on the floor to start ripping my arm apart. Nothing but unadulterated passion in that boy.
Feather, right after I finished writing my post to this thread this morning, jumped into my chair behind my derriere, laid down, and started clawing and biting at my back and arms. What can I say? He LOVES me. Contrary to these physically painful expressions of emotion, he has also assigned himself to be my personal bodyguard. If any other cat growls or hisses at me, as often happens during de-matting sessions, Feather instantly appears to defend and protect me. He’s my champion … my emotionally unstable little champion.
Luckily for all involved, I’m a tough chick with no aspirations to be a hand model. I also happen to understand and appreciate passionate personalities and volatile temperaments (takes one to know one). My boys can beat me up all they want as long as their intentions are pure and they use enough restraint to keep me out of the hospital.
Mew is the only cat to ever send me to the emergency room, and that was in the early days before his hatred was tempered with love. I still occasionally have to yell “OWWW, MEW!” at him when he gets too rough, but he releases me immediately when I do. Weasel is the ex-tom I always have to be careful with. Weasel has a very short temper and NO restraint where biting and scratching are concerned. He bites extremely hard when angered, so I have learned to be quick with my responses (and my hands) when I see that “tomcat glare” flash through his eyes.
I’m living in a house full of little macho men, each one throwing whatever memory of testosterone he has around at will. A pride of grog-swilling, wench-loving, territorial warriors. If they were human, I’d have them all arrested. 😉
Aug 15, 2005
7:45 AM
Have I mentioned that the harder they make me work for their affections, the deeper they embed themselves in my heart? Every milestone Phantom reaches connects us more closely, and this morning he traveled more deeply into my heart than ever.
For the first time, Phantom came out from under the bed and approached me while I was in the bathroom. He was cautious and reluctant, to be sure, but I sat on the floor and waited for him to decide I was worth the courage it took to encounter me on the wrong side of the bedroom. Once he finally made the crossing and came within arm’s reach, I started to stroke him and managed to reach far enough to scratch him between his shoulder blades (a favorite spot of his). He took the last couple of steps to my lap, and I leaned over to kiss his face. I’ll be doggoned if that little boy didn’t actually meet me halfway, rubbing the side of his face against my lips! And it wasn’t even a mismovement or moment of temporary insanity. He did it several times!
I won’t even try to describe what that did to me … did for me. It’s indescribable. It’s also what motivates me to take on the tough ones and stick with them. I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to make a friend of Mew when he showed up several years ago. He challenged everything I knew about cats and about myself. I nearly gave up on him before he finally decided to break through the psychological wall and make a connection with me. I’ll never forget that feeling the first time he walked across my lap to try to steal my dinner (never underestimate the power of Tuna Helper). Now Mew is everything that makes me get up in the morning. He and all of the others are the connections that make the truest sense out of my life.
And now Phantom has thrown another strong lifeline into the mix. I’ll admit that I wasn’t sure I’d be able to get through to him, either, but faith in the inevitability of connection carried us through and ultimately brought us together.
If you’re open to connection and willing to work for it, it’ll happen under even the most unlikely and difficult of circumstances. Want to feel what I’m feeling today? To find a feral to befriend.
Aug 20, 2005
9:47 AM
Phantom’s got a girlfriend. Phantom’s got a girrrrrrlfriend.
BooBoo has decided to flirt with Phantom while I sit with him on the floor. She comes up and walks right past him sniffs him talks to him or occasionally even smacks him on the head. Then she lies down against the side of my leg while he lies between my legs, and they nap together. Usually, when someone smacks Phantom on the head, he retreats under the bed, but he takes his little licks from BooBoo. In fact, he’s even smacked her once or twice (which BooBoo does decidedly NOT appreciate!).
Ah, kitty love.
Aug 23, 2005
3:34 PM
I’m afraid Phantom needs some coaching in being a proper boyfriend. BooBoo just walked up to him, and he licked her twice on the head before raising a paw to smack her. BooBoo backed away before receiving the unwelcome love tap, then circled around and came back to lie at his side. There must be something about the allure of a mysterious, younger man. 😉
Phantom is finally starting to come into his own. He made a very encouraging breakthrough this morning. I’ve been allowing Footsie to spend time in the bedroom lately because I know sooner or later Phantom is going to have to learn to deal with both Footsie and Feather. Since Footsie is the less aggressive of the two, basically just being an obnoxious bully, I figured he’d be the easier troublemaker to deal with. I’ve been sitting on the floor outside the bedroom door, keeping an eye on Footsie while he wanders around the bedroom and bathroom, occasionally scoping out Phantom’s whereabouts. Usually, Phantom immediately retreats under the bed when he sees Footsie in the bedroom, but sometimes he stays with me by the door for a few minutes until his nerve fails and he goes into hiding.
This morning, though, Phantom stayed with me and didn’t go hide even when Footsie came back to the doorway where we were playing. In fact, Phantom and Footsie started playing with the same toy together. It was such a relief to see Phantom finally relaxing a little in Footsie’s presence. Apparently, I’ve given Footsie enough opportunities to bully Phantom now that the novelty has worn off, and I’ve given Phantom enough opportunities to be bullied that he knows Footsie isn’t really going to hurt him. Phantom isn’t completely comfortable with Footsie yet, but their relationship is definitely improving. They’ll be fine together in time.
Feather is a whole different matter. I’m still struggling with that boy. He loves to antagonize and terrorize Mew and Billy anytime he gets the chance. He tries to get a rise out of the other cats, as well, but so far Mew and Billy are the only ones who respond with the growls and hisses that spur Feather on to higher levels of aggression. If they would just ignore him like everyone else does, Feather would give up and go his merry way. Unfortunately, Phantom isn’t secure enough to ignore Feather’s advances, so he’ll be another one of his victims unless and until I can convince Feather to leave him alone. Feather will be Phantom’s last obstacle to freedom from the bedroom.
While Feather was napping in the office this morning, Phantom got very adventurous and made it all the way up onto the living room couch! He’s gone under the couch a few times before, but this was his first time to jump up on it. He only stayed there for a minute or two before dashing back into the bedroom, but at least he was brave enough to try it out.
Man has walked on the moon, but I didn’t find that nearly as exciting as watching my little Phantom boy jump up on that couch today. 🙂 … ON TO CHAPTER FIVE