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My head says we should wait at least a year - probably two - before we even consider allowing her to have a horse, but I’m also aware that this is forever to a child. Neither her mother nor I know anything about horses, which would give my daughter the primary responsibility for the animal’s care. In your daughter's case, she should, at the very least (given your and your wife's lack of equine experience), take the time before purchase to gain sufficient knowledge and experience not only in proper riding technique, but in proper care and safe handling of the animal, as well as basic at-home veterinary techniques. Often, rural farmsteads (which I assume by your description fits your living environment) are far enough away from the nearest veterinarian to put an ill or injured animal at risk unless the owner knows how to handle veterinary emergencies until the vet arrives. Many rural owners overlook this life-threatening potential until an animal lies breathing his last with a distraught, well meaning, and completely helpless owner at his side. Your daughter needs to understand the seriousness of the commitment to be made in the daily caretaking of an animal more than ten times her size and proportionally even stronger. Horses have little in common with dogs, cats, or chickens in the way they must be handled and kept.
I am glad to hear your daughter is spending so much time at the riding stable. Is she taking lessons? She should be. Is she helping to groom the horses, clean the barn, feed, and water? She should be. If you live in an area with cold winters, has she had to work in a barn in freezing weather? I hope so. Has she been involved in any of the 4-H horse programs (not all programs require actual ownership of a horse) or Girl Scouts equestrian badge programs or any such available learning activities? She should be.
If she were going to be boarding her horse at a reputable stable where all daily maintenance of the animals as well as any equine emergencies would be performed by knowledgeable caretakers, then perhaps earlier purchase of a horse for this lovesick girl might be reasonably considered. But expecting your young daughter to take on the responsibility of becoming a primary equine caretaker at this early stage in her equestrian career would be a disservice to both her and the horse. If her heart is truly committed to horse ownership, she will appreciate any and all opportunities you can afford her to learn as much as possible about all aspects of equine care and ownership before bringing a horse into the family. There will be little doubt in your mind, and absolutely none in hers, when the time is right. Don't rush.
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